Pandemic Poetry


by Rye Smith Pierre

Baltimore, March 31, 2020


Bored is what everyone says

When they’re stuck at home in their bed

Thinking of nothing but dread

Saying nothing about what was said


“Homeschool Haiku”

Hours of working

Siblings that play kind of well

Until they do not



The friends are gone,

The cousins are gone,

The friends of the cousins are gone,

They are all depressed

Due to one little germ



I’m imprisoned in my own house

The government decided to do this to me

“It’s for your own safety,” they said

“It will be over soon,” they said

The big liars

Pie of the Times: Spam & Cheese Custard

1 12 oz can of Spam, in half-inch cubes

Half a head of garlic, diced

3 medium-sized shallots, diced

1 medium-sized onion, diced

1/2 cup of heavy cream

3 eggs

1/2 cup diced cheddar

1/2 cup of rice (before cooking) cooked in bone broth

2 pie crusts

Sauté the garlic, shallots, onions, and Spam until the onions are cooked. Beat together the eggs and cream with the salt. Line a pie dish with a crust and spread the rice in a layer over it. Add the sautéed items, toss the cheddar on top, pour the custard over the whole mess, then cap with the other crust and seal and pierce it. About an hour in a 395-degree oven, or until the pie is brown and puffy, will produce something resembling what’s in the above photo I just took. Good times! -Van Smith

Post-Thanksgiving Treat: The Auggie and Snackie Show’s Rendition of the Deli Sisters’ “Losing Control”

Yesterday was our little leftovers day-after-Thanksgiving shindig, always spectacularly headlined by the Auggie and Snackie Show playing in our kitchen. This year their repertoire – always memorable for such classics as “Bacon,” “Rain,” “Chocolate Cake,” and “Scarlet Johansson” broadened to include their amazing interpretation of “Losing Control” (watch the video, above).

The song was conceived over a considerable stretch of time by the Deli Sisters, whose collaboration on it has been, shall we say, fraught over intellectual-property considerations. The Deli Sisters’ performance of it while standing on a rock in the Cacapon River two falls ago (watch the video, below) was the basis of last night’s rendition.

Many, many thanks to Auggie and Snackie!